"Out of the Mouths of Babes" | Political Satire |Axisoflogic.com

This is an imagined meeting with Theresa May, the prime minister of Britain and her foreign Minister, Boris Johnson, via Digital TV conferencing with Justin Trudeau, prime minister of Canada; Chrystia Freeland, Minister of Foreign Affairs for Canada; Gerald Butts, Senior political advisor to Justin Trudeau; and Andrew Morgan, a young man who has worked in the Prime Minister's Office for two years, learning the ropes mainly in foreign affairs.

Morgan is very, very excited about being included in a meeting with such powerful people. However, while very young and somewhat naive, he is not in awe of them. They have come together to discuss the six page "Salisbury Incident Report" created by the British government which contains alleged examples of evidence that Russia was guilty of poisoning two people in the UK, a father and daughter, both Russian - the father a double agent living in Britain and the daughter living in Russia and visiting to see her father.

All will be identified by their initials.

BJ: [His face with his intentionally coiffed unruly hair is shown on the large TV screen. He speaks in his most condescending tone.] Hello, hello, hello Canada, so good to talk with you.

TM: Thank you for meeting with us today. I'm pleased you see the urgency, as we do, of responding to the Russian crime against the UK.

JT: We will always be in the U.K's corner, otherwise what are allies for.

BJ: Our Queen is still Canada's Head of State and we thank Canada for its subservience - I mean support of Britain in her hour of need. It reminds me of when Canada was a colony of Britain. We knew we could depend on you.

AM: But Canada has not been a colony of Britain for 150 years. We are an independent sovereign country.

BJ: Yes, of course, it just feels like it's still a colony.

TM: Did you speak with President Trump?

JT: Yes, he said to say 'hi'. We both concurred that we would support Britain and are now arranging for the expulsion of Russian diplomats in Canada and the U.S.

BJ: Excellent!

BJ: Has everyone read our report?

CF: Yes.

BJ: What do you think? We did a lot of discussing back and forth to come up with proof sounding statements, alluding to what can be considered evidence. Madam prime minister and myself did most of the writing. Even if I do say so myself the whole report was very impressive, don't you think?

AM: I thought this report was to be based on real evidence.

BJ: The word 'real' can have many meanings.

AM: It can?

BJ: Let's move on to the report itself. Have you read it thoroughly young man?

AM: Yes, several times and I have some questions.

BJ: Ask away!

AM: Wouldn't it make more sense to wait for the OPCW and police investigation results where they can provide concrete evidence? It would make Russia's guilt indisputable.

CF: Concrete evidence? Their doesn't have to be concrete evidence to make the Russians guilty. You may ask one more question, we need to speed up here.

AM: I was thinking, what are the chances of the Canadian government's support of this report being in violation of our Charter of Rights and Freedoms? Because it doesn't give definite absolute evidence to back up its accusations against Russia.

[Dead silence all around!]

BJ: The Charter of Rights and Freedom is what?

AM: It's our constitution.

BJ: Oh, right, right,right. It was originated and negotiated with the 10 provinces by your father Pierre Trudeau, wasn't it Justin? A commendable endeavour.

JT: [Who had studiously stayed away from asking himself what his father would think of him attending this meeting and supporting this UK report that some may think is somewhat contrived, sputtered awkwardly.] Um,um, yes, yes it was my father.

CF: [Who saw how upset her boss was turned to Andrew and said] Our government doing anything unconstitutional is absurd. Let's move on. [She did not want the British to think Andrew had the upper hand. After all it was her that he reported to.]

TM: I think everything that should be in place, is in place. There's really nothing more to add. Again, your government's support means everything to us. Canada is a country that is thought of as fair and honest in all of its dealings with other countries.

BJ: Yes, and because that is what many in the world think, it makes your support doubly credible. Please contact us if you need anything and Justin, you must come and visit us again. The British people would love to see you.

[Both TM and BJ said goodbye and the screen went dark.

The Canadians were getting ready to leave, when Gerald Butts, who had said nothing throughout the meeting and just listened intently, leaned to his left, where Chrystia Freeland sat and said something that the others couldn't hear. She nodded her head up and down as if saying yes.

As they were walking out of the room, Chrystia said ...]

CF: Andrew, I'd like to speak with you in my office.

Andrew Morgan was never seen again.

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