| The extreme satire of Jonathan Swift’s “A Modest Proposal” has stayed with me since reading it in college. “A Modest Proposal For preventing the Children of Poor People From being a Burthen to Their Parents or Country, and For making them Beneficial to the Publick, commonly referred to as A Modest Proposal, is a Juvenalian satirical essay written and published anonymously by Jonathan Swift in 1729. Swift suggests that the impoverished Irish might ease their economic troubles by selling their children as food for rich gentlemen and ladies. This satirical hyperbole mocked heartless attitudes towards the poor, as well as British policy toward the Irish in general.”[1] In these trying times, Swift’s “Proposal” came to mind as pertinent. So as to enhance the satire I’ve saved the ‘punchline’ for later, so please bear with any seeming ludicrousness... Proposal Christians would not be permitted to wear crosses around their necks. All baptisms would be done using Sunoco or Phillips 66 super-unleaded. Jewish Peoples would not be permitted to wear Stars of David. Passover matzah ball soup would be made with a petroleum base. Muslims would not be permitted to have their heads touch the floor or sacred rug. All pilgrimage tickets would need to be purchased online for top dollar, multi-pak discounts would not apply. Hindus would not be permitted to wash away their sins in the holy Ganges river but instead would be required to purchase one bottle of bottled-water per sin. Atheists would be forced (with pepper-spray, rubber bullets, attack dogs, long range acoustic devices, water cannons, strip-searches, and disrupted wifi signals) to attend at least two religious services (of any denomination) a month and would be handcuffed and beaten while being made to wear crosses or Stars of David or read the Koran or have a bindi (red dot) impressed on their forehead. The US government would forego the right to ever say “God Bless America” and would be forbidden from swearing on the bible at inaugurations thus de-legitamizing the presidency and thus the entire government. And the “Star Spangled Banner” – “Then conquer we must, when our cause it is just, And this be our motto: In God is our trust” – would be forbidden to be sung at all sporting events, including the high holiday known as Superbowl Sunday. Trans-national corporations would be forbidden from having American flags (made in China) outside their headquarters. “In court papers, the Cheyenne River Sioux Tribe argues that installation and operation of the pipeline threatens the religious practices of its citizens. … The Lakota believe that the very existence of the Black Snake under their sacred waters in Lake Oahe will unbalance and desecrate the water and render it impossible for the Lakota to use that water in their Inipi ceremony," a motion filed on Thursday stated, in reference to the Inipi, or sweat lodge, ceremony. Marcella Gilbert, a tribal citizen, said other ceremonies are at risk if the pipeline goes under the Missouri. Clean water, for example, is required for a coming of age rite known as the isnati. "Disturbing and threatening the sacred water used in these ceremonies also disturbs and threatens our spiritual path in life," Gilbert said in a sworn declaration. "Clean, undisturbed water is needed when purifying our bodies in inipi, when bathing our daughters in isnati, and when nourishing our bodies before and after each ceremony."[2] “In the United States, the religious civil liberties are guaranteed by the First Amendment to the United States Constitution: Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.”[3]Other key things to know and/or do Therefore be it known – based on environmental studies, the track record of oil disasters, treaty rights, and respect for the religious/spiritual practices of the Lakota, Dakota, Nakota Nations (aka the Great Sioux Nation) – that the Dakota Access Pipeline (aka Black Snake) should be deemed sacrilegious, un-Constitutional, and prohibited by laws both man-made and so-called higher or natural. Oil “Dakota Access Pipeline Approved a Week After Co-Owner’s Pipeline Spilled 600,000 Gallons of Oil in Texas”[4]Divest “Seattle City Council has voted to divest from Wells Fargo over the bank's role as a lender to the Dakota Access Pipeline (DAPL) and other business practices, including its financing of private prison companies, and a customer fraud case where employees opened as many as two million fake accounts.”[8]Courts “According to documents filed in federal court on Tuesday, the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers prepared a "technical and legal" analysis of the controversial project. But the memo, apparently dated February 3, was not supplied to the federal judge overseeing the #NoDAPL lawsuit even though he has called for as much transparency as possible.”[10]People power "Natives and allies in Washington DC on March 10th”[11]Divine intervention Pray for divine intervention, seriously, drill-bits and other machinery can break, people in key positions can have a change of heart... and pipelines workers and militarized police forces can take pills for erectile dysfunction and suddenly quit their jobs because of four-hour erections, er, to spend more time with their families in prayer, asking for forgiveness and pledging to respect their fellow human beings and all of Mother Nature. NOTES: 1. A Modest Proposal 2. “Tribes head back to court in hopes of halting Dakota Access Pipeline” 3. Freedom of religion in the United States 4. See here. 5. “Sunoco, behind protested Dakota pipeline, tops U.S. crude spill charts” 6. Dakota Access Pipeline 7. “Dakota Access pushes to finish pipeline with Army Corps easement in hand” 8.“Seattle Becomes First City to Cut Ties With Wells Fargo Over DAPL, Just Hours After Army Corps Grants Final Permit” 9. See here. 10. “Key Dakota Access document from Army Corps wasn't filed in court” 11. See here. 12. See here. 13. See here. 14. See here. PS - List of atrocities in the “Atheist” section have actually been perpetrated against peaceful and prayerful water-protectors at Standing Rock. Mankh (Walter E. Harris III) is an essayist and resident poet on Axis of Logic. In addition to his work as a writer, he is a small press publisher and Turtle Islander. His recent books include “Musings With The Golden Sparrow” and “Drive-thru Theofascism & The Hero's Journey.” You can contact him via his literary website. © Copyright 2017 by AxisofLogic.com This material is available for republication as long as reprints include verbatim copy of the article in its entirety, respecting its integrity. Reprints must cite the author and Axis of Logic as the original source including a "live link" to the article. Thank you! |