As a gesture of its peaceful intentions, Israel yesterday announced to great fanfare that it would allow shoes and clothes into the besieged Gaza Strip for the first time in three years. Israeli spokesmen said the import of the dangerous materials was designed to ensure Gazans don’t fall too behind in the latest fashion trends, and also to ostensibly clothe naked Palestinian males who might pose a serious danger to innocent Jewish girls.

Clothes, which are notorious for their anti-Semitism, have long been a favorite weapon of Palestinian terrorist hell-bent on the destruction of Israel. As Anti-Defamation League president Abraham Foxman put it, “the proliferation of clothes amongst Palestinian refugees reminds us all that times have not really changed much since 1939.” But the US State Department nevertheless welcomed the news, with spokesman PJ Crowley applauding Israel’s latest humanitarian move. “Israel has always shown that it is willing to make concessions for peace,” he said. “The Israeli government is aware that most of the homes it destroyed in Gaza have not been rebuilt, so the clothes will give their residents a source of warmth that broken walls and shattered windows just cannot do. The US will proudly reimburse Israel for the costs of these clothes.”

However, Palestinians scoffed at the idea that Israel pays for anything that enters Gaza, with local merchants demanding that the Zionist entity release the hundreds of tons of goods they have paid for and which have been held in Israeli ports for years.

The ten trucks that will carry the new garments to be shared amongst Gaza’s 1.6 million people will also contain a far more nefarious weapon: shoes. It is well known that throwing shoes is a sign of disrespect exclusive to Arab culture.Once again Israel’s pangs for peace have driven it to undertake such a bold sacrifice, risking the humiliation of its occupying troops under a shower of footwear.

The hawks in Israel’s government have insisted that other, far more dangerous materials remain banned from entering Gaza. As such, tampons, books and children’s crayons, both of which pose a far deadlier risk to Israel than Gaza’s homemade rockets, are still considered contraband.

Kabob Fest